Friday, July 9, 2010

The emotions of house buying

I know I am incredibly fortunate (not that I believe in luck per se, but to save lengthy theological debates etc let's just go with it, shall we?), but I am feeling slightly unsettled about the fact that we have finally bought our house.

After over a year of house views, endless frustrated phone calls and many hours spent imagining our dream home we finally have the keys and have stepped over the threshold into our new possession.

The problem is, I don't feel ecstatically happy. I feel guilty. I feel anxious.

Maybe it's because I don't feel I deserve it. Maybe I feel bad that other, more worthy people are not in the position to buy a house like ours. Maybe I feel sorrow about a sorely missed Mum and Granny whose death made it possible for us to afford our new home.

We've still got one month left on our rental before we have to move out. So, while this transition period is extremely useful in terms of doing up the house and moving in gradually it's probably contributing to the unsettled-ness. We are, after all, occupying two houses for the moment.

Hopefully once we've made the final push I should feel more at peace about things.


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