My Apple WWDC predictions

First off, I should point out that I am one of the least qualified / experienced people to have any reasonable chances of success when it comes to predicting what new baby Apple is about to bring to the world. I do enjoy the anticipation of an Apple event, however, and it's fun to guess what one of the world's most secretive computer companies will release next.

Having read all the relevant websites, I've made a conservative guess at what we will see when the World Wide Developer's Conference launches in San Francisco on Monday:

- New iPhone (with all the features it should have when they launched three years ago - like video, cut & paste, landscape keyboard...). It will come in a wide range of sizes (memory-wise) and with a new price structure, meaning ordinary people like myself will finally be able to afford one.

- OS X Snow Leopard announcement.

- Stuff about the iPhone OS version 3.0.

- Stuff about the iPhone App store.

- Bragging about how brilliant Apple is and how they've got so much money they don't know what to do with it.

Er....that's about it.

I really don't think there will be anything more than that (no new iMacs or Mac Pros or anything like that. It will be very much all about the iPhone, I reckon).

As for my ultra-UN-conservative estimate, this is what could happen in an alternate reality:

- Mac OS will be killed of with a deal struck between Apple and Microsoft. Apple will soon be running a Mac version of Windows ME.

- The slim aluminium iMac will be completely redesigned to incorporate a cathode ray tube. It will be 25 inches deep and weigh 78 Kg

- The iPhone will no longer use wireless radio signals. Instead, it will come with a new adapter which you can plug it into any landline socket to make calls 

- Apple will launch a new iFruit store. At the click of a button, you can order any kind of fruit you want. This will be followed later in the year by a range of stores for different grocery items including iVeg, iBread, iDairy, iCrispysnacks and iBooze

Finally, in the next few years, Steve Jobs will form new alliances with Microsoft, Google, Sony and Miss Millie's Chicken. This super-corporation will enable Steve to run for World President and eventually enslave the rest of humanity. Earth will be renamed iPlanet.

I'm probably wrong, but you never know...