So, I guess it's about time I dusted off this blog and did a review of the year.
I've really fallen foul of life and failed miserably at keeping this blog updated. Shame really, because I often enjoy reading back some of the stuff I've written. It's also a good way of capturing my random thoughts and moments of my life before my addled brain forgets them.
Now things have settled down (see what I've written under 'Family') maybe I will be able to get back on the blog horse again, so to speak.
2019 eh? Well, that was interesting.
Family
First off, family life has been more hectic than usual because of two major factors: house renovations and fostering.
For some time now, we've been thinking about fostering, and about a year ago decided to start the process. It involved lots of meetings and paperwork plus the odd bit of training, but it was relatively straightforward and painless.
We decided to extend the house in order for us to have an extra room that would allow us to foster. But before we did that, we upgraded our kitchen. The kitchen we inherited when we moved in ten years ago was in dire need of an upgrade. Cupboard doors were falling off and shelves were collapsing on a regular basis. We were never really in the position to borrow the money for it until we realised we'd need a mortgage to extend the house so figured we'd ask for enough to do both. We also thought that we might as well do a whole load of work in one go and get it over and done with.
Whilst this was great in theory – yay! a new kitchen and extension! – the practical was far from enjoyable. We had four weeks without a functioning kitchen and then two months without any attic space. We spent several weeks beforehand clearing out / moving junk in order to accommodate the building work which on one hand was useful (we had so much crap - it was liberating to get rid of it all!) but on the other hand exhausting and time consuming.
We also spent a long time after the work cleaning, tidying away, sorting even more stuff and painting. Even though we got a painter in to do the hallway and landings, we couldn't stretch to doing all of the upper rooms (walls and ceilings) - so did that ourselves. Again, an exhausting experience.
Finally, by the end of September, we had a new kitchen, an extra bedroom and a decent-sized office for me. We were ready to foster.
That was when we had six weeks of waiting. During that time I was doing what I could to put my office in order as I hadn't quite cleared / sorted everything by then. At the time of writing, I still haven't sorted out my office, but it is functional as both an office and a guest room (with the necessary sofa bed). I expect it will be another six months before I have everything the way I want it to be.
In mid-November, we finally got the call to foster our first child. It has taken some adjusting, and made us realise how much freedom we use to have as a family with two relatively independent kids, but it's been totally worth it so far.
Faith
My faith continued on something of a downward spiral again this year. It's not because of anything that has happened particularly, it's just I don't seem to 'feel' anything about what I believe any more. There's a sort of emptiness there. My intellect accepts the reality of God and who he is – I have no doubt of His existence, that He created the universe and that Jesus was sent to earth to save all of mankind. I have no problem with that at all and the truth is I can't begin to imagine what it would be like not believe in anything. The atheistic perspective holds no attraction for me whatsoever – if anything, it is more depressing and bleak than anything I feel right now.
I try and read my bible on a regular basis and I pray whenever I can, I just don't seem to care any more (although that sounds harsher than it really is. Of course I care, but it seems to take a lot more effort these days). Sometimes, I feel a spark of life deep down. I was almost driven to tears singing 'O Come O Come Emmanuel' on Christmas morning at church – so something is there.
Maybe it's a symptom is being middle-aged. Seems like a decent explanation, although there are plenty of others my age or older who seem fairly content and strong in their faith, so what's wrong with me?
Travel
We were lucky enough to have two trips to France this year: one for a mass family gathering (mum's 70th) and another for Wifey's brother's wedding. They were only two weeks apart in the late spring so it felt very extravagant to be heading to Bordeaux on two separate occasions within the same year.
For the family holiday, we revisited the mansion house in France that we stayed in two years before. It wasn't quite the same as the first time we went (you can never repeat the experience again), but it was still nice to hang out with family and celebrate Mum's birthday. At least that was special. We couldn't completely escape one or two family tensions, but it was bearable. One of the highlights was taking part in an escape room that had been set up underneath the mansion. It was a bit weird (as in, having a tourist attraction underneath our holiday home) but good fun.
Our wedding holiday was a different affair, mainly because of the stress of a formal occasion (with lots of beautiful people everywhere) plus more family tensions popping up just to keep us on our toes. Thankfully the weather was beautiful and the setting couldn't be more French. We did have a good time, but it was something that we were beginning to get accustomed to and so it was a big shock to come back to reality when we returned home.
Aside from our French adventures, we also visited London in the early spring to see my brother and partner in their new home (while visiting the Tate Modern), and went up North in the summer to see Annabel's stepdad.
Movies
I have stopped doing my monthly reviews, mainly because I had just run out of energy doing them. It was becoming something of a chore to make sure I watched a film a week and I felt like I was doing it out of necessity rather than because I wanted to actually watch anything.
Saying that, I'm still watching films when I can – but nowhere near as many as I used to.
I didn't get to see many films at the cinema this year, so it's hard to do a top ten. I'm ashamed to admit it, but most of the stuff I saw on the big screen were Marvel films (erk!). I saw Avengers: Endgame and Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker twice. So much for being a film buff!
TV
My TV watching has been sporadic and disconnected as usual. Wifey and I are still churning through Homeland and have given up on The Handmaid's Tale (too depressing). We managed to power through 'Killing Eve', which just goes to show that if a series has a definite end point it's something we're more inclined to stick with. This series was made great largely thanks to the terrific two leads. The same goes for Kimmy Schmidt, which we finished watching this year. I think the shine wore off towards the end, so it was good to stop before things deteriorated too much.
I did get to see series one of The Boys on Amazon, which was an excellent – if extreme – take on the tired superhero genre. Stranger Things series three on Netflix was, I felt, okay-ish. I think they should have just stopped after doing two but I can understand why they carried on. The storyline veered towards the ridiculous and I'm worried things will get even more absurd for the next one. We're still working through Friends, reliving our 90s/00s past – although rumour has it Netflix won't be showing it for much longer.
Other honourable mentions: The Good Place, Final Space, Good Omens, Atypical.
Books
I spent most of the year reading the first four books of the Earthsea saga by Ursula K Le Guin. An impressive equal to Lord of the Rings or the Narnia series, the world-building is impressively subtle and believable while the characters are grounded and enigmatic. As I say every year, I want to read more books but just don't have the time or inclination as it's a lot easier to watch TV or YouTube. Maybe when the world eventually falls apart and there's no electricity I'll get to read more – heh!
Work
Work has been more pronounced in terms of feast and famine than it's ever been, I think, which is kinda weird. For the first quarter of the year I was inundated with work, and even surpassed my overdraft substantially (which has never happened before) thanks to the income brought in. This heady moment was, of course, brief as I then plunged back into my borrowing again to keep things afloat. Summertime was typically quiet and then it picked up a little until I headed into December which was surprisingly busy. Despite all of this, I am back into my overdraft again – but with our new fostering situation helping to ease things on the finances, this new year might see things go differently.
In terms of work travel I was in North Wales in February to do a few days filming and then later in the summer I went to the Lake District to film a wedding which was a bit random. Finally, in November I did my first filming gig in London for a conference, which was tiring but interesting.
Health
I have managed to stay relatively healthy this year, although my exercise regime has fizzled out to nothing. I'd started going for early morning walks, which was kid of refreshing, but I didn't feel like it made a huge difference. I've also become less intentional in terms of eating healthy food. It seems like there's always some big occasion just around the corner so it's hard to say no to treats and suchlike. I'm not convinced restricting my food intake has made a huge difference to my waistline so I'm less inclined to go without (eating nice food is about one of the last pleasures I have left!) – but saying that, I know that I need to reduce my weight a bit just so I'm investing in my future self when I'm a lot older and more prone to illness.
World Events
Well, 2019 has been a right bathtub of offal, that's for sure. We have the ongoing crap coming from America and its deranged leader, despite a supreme effort by many to put the brakes on Brexit it's finally gonna happen next month – and still nothing is being done by those in power to avert the climate catastrophe that is steadily unfolding before our very eyes (the nation of Australia is literally burning as I write this, people!).
After the General Election in December, I decided to shut myself off from the news and any political discussion for a while because I'd had a gutful. I can't understand why the majority (albeit a slim one) seem to think it's OK that 1 in 5 people are living in poverty in this country, or why it's OK to plunge headfirst into an economically suicidal withdrawal from Europe. All I can hope for is that once people see the crap that's happening as a result that they finally come to their senses and act accordingly.
This year I have been more and more convinced of the need to break up the Union and have been a firm supporter of Welsh independence. Whilst it's something that will be a long way off, I think it's something that may well be possible within the next decade or so. Here's hoping.
Other stuff
I have continued to be part of our church Life Group that is learning British Sign Language, which has been an enjoyable experience. The only challenge is that I don't get to use it much outside of our weekly meetings. I try and sign on Sundays but I'm not confident enough to stand up the front and I usually have other duties to worry about, such as looking after a fidgety toddler. I have been exposed to BSL thanks to the occasional bit of filming work, though, so it's useful for that. Hopefully I will get to use it more, but we'll see.
I may put off my BSL learning for a while, though, because I am thinking about learning Welsh. It's something that I've been wanting to do for ages, especially since becoming more nationalist in my outlook. I'm under no illusions that it's going to be difficult, though, although I think there will be more opportunities to practice it than BSL. Plus, it could prove useful for my occupation if Wales as I could end up getting more work.
In 2018 I made a decision to do something bold and ambitious - to write and direct a full-length feature film. This was borne out of my frustrations with trying (and failing) to get short films made. While it may seem a bit daft to make a feature if I've not had much luck making shorts, I feel like taking on a big project has more chance of attracting attention (and funding). I may be wrong. I think I may make a 30-minute film first, just as a bit of a stepping stone to making something that's much longer. It's a big endeavour, and I'm fully aware of that. But, I'm getting to the age where I haven't got the time to do things in small steps. I've got to go for it, really, and that's what I hope to do over the next couple of years.
If there's anything positive about 2019, it's that Basic Income has finally become mainstream, and I guess I've played a teeny tiny part in that. I set up a Basic Income Twitter account for Cardiff back in May 2018, and have been trying to keep it going ever since. It hasn't exploded with growth, but has a reasonable following and I get the odd engagement. What's been really exciting though is US Democratic candidate Andrew Yang basing his entire campaign around Basic Income (what he calls a Freedom Dividend) – the first time anyone has used UBI as part of a presidential bid. He's up against it, in terms of getting elected, but I'm convinced that if anyone can beat Donald Trump, it's Yang. You can find out more here: https://www.yang2020.com
As well as the Twitter account, I've been planning to organise a small event in Cardiff to raise the profile of UBI. It was something I'd hoped to do in 2019 but never got round to it (mainly because of all the preparations for fostering). Hopefully I can this year. How it's going to pan out, I have no idea but I just want to try and keep getting the idea out there as much as possible. I figure the more people hear about it, the more likely it will eventually filter through to the politicians who will eventually take it up.
I have to admit, I really think UBI is the only thing that will make any kind of difference to all the crap in this world. It's something that will empower people to sort politics out, fix the environment and end poverty for good. That and lots of prayer, of course.
Happy New Year.
I've really fallen foul of life and failed miserably at keeping this blog updated. Shame really, because I often enjoy reading back some of the stuff I've written. It's also a good way of capturing my random thoughts and moments of my life before my addled brain forgets them.
Now things have settled down (see what I've written under 'Family') maybe I will be able to get back on the blog horse again, so to speak.
2019 eh? Well, that was interesting.
Family
First off, family life has been more hectic than usual because of two major factors: house renovations and fostering.
For some time now, we've been thinking about fostering, and about a year ago decided to start the process. It involved lots of meetings and paperwork plus the odd bit of training, but it was relatively straightforward and painless.
We decided to extend the house in order for us to have an extra room that would allow us to foster. But before we did that, we upgraded our kitchen. The kitchen we inherited when we moved in ten years ago was in dire need of an upgrade. Cupboard doors were falling off and shelves were collapsing on a regular basis. We were never really in the position to borrow the money for it until we realised we'd need a mortgage to extend the house so figured we'd ask for enough to do both. We also thought that we might as well do a whole load of work in one go and get it over and done with.
Whilst this was great in theory – yay! a new kitchen and extension! – the practical was far from enjoyable. We had four weeks without a functioning kitchen and then two months without any attic space. We spent several weeks beforehand clearing out / moving junk in order to accommodate the building work which on one hand was useful (we had so much crap - it was liberating to get rid of it all!) but on the other hand exhausting and time consuming.
We also spent a long time after the work cleaning, tidying away, sorting even more stuff and painting. Even though we got a painter in to do the hallway and landings, we couldn't stretch to doing all of the upper rooms (walls and ceilings) - so did that ourselves. Again, an exhausting experience.
Finally, by the end of September, we had a new kitchen, an extra bedroom and a decent-sized office for me. We were ready to foster.
That was when we had six weeks of waiting. During that time I was doing what I could to put my office in order as I hadn't quite cleared / sorted everything by then. At the time of writing, I still haven't sorted out my office, but it is functional as both an office and a guest room (with the necessary sofa bed). I expect it will be another six months before I have everything the way I want it to be.
In mid-November, we finally got the call to foster our first child. It has taken some adjusting, and made us realise how much freedom we use to have as a family with two relatively independent kids, but it's been totally worth it so far.
Faith
My faith continued on something of a downward spiral again this year. It's not because of anything that has happened particularly, it's just I don't seem to 'feel' anything about what I believe any more. There's a sort of emptiness there. My intellect accepts the reality of God and who he is – I have no doubt of His existence, that He created the universe and that Jesus was sent to earth to save all of mankind. I have no problem with that at all and the truth is I can't begin to imagine what it would be like not believe in anything. The atheistic perspective holds no attraction for me whatsoever – if anything, it is more depressing and bleak than anything I feel right now.
I try and read my bible on a regular basis and I pray whenever I can, I just don't seem to care any more (although that sounds harsher than it really is. Of course I care, but it seems to take a lot more effort these days). Sometimes, I feel a spark of life deep down. I was almost driven to tears singing 'O Come O Come Emmanuel' on Christmas morning at church – so something is there.
Maybe it's a symptom is being middle-aged. Seems like a decent explanation, although there are plenty of others my age or older who seem fairly content and strong in their faith, so what's wrong with me?
Travel
We were lucky enough to have two trips to France this year: one for a mass family gathering (mum's 70th) and another for Wifey's brother's wedding. They were only two weeks apart in the late spring so it felt very extravagant to be heading to Bordeaux on two separate occasions within the same year.
For the family holiday, we revisited the mansion house in France that we stayed in two years before. It wasn't quite the same as the first time we went (you can never repeat the experience again), but it was still nice to hang out with family and celebrate Mum's birthday. At least that was special. We couldn't completely escape one or two family tensions, but it was bearable. One of the highlights was taking part in an escape room that had been set up underneath the mansion. It was a bit weird (as in, having a tourist attraction underneath our holiday home) but good fun.
Our wedding holiday was a different affair, mainly because of the stress of a formal occasion (with lots of beautiful people everywhere) plus more family tensions popping up just to keep us on our toes. Thankfully the weather was beautiful and the setting couldn't be more French. We did have a good time, but it was something that we were beginning to get accustomed to and so it was a big shock to come back to reality when we returned home.
Aside from our French adventures, we also visited London in the early spring to see my brother and partner in their new home (while visiting the Tate Modern), and went up North in the summer to see Annabel's stepdad.
Movies
I have stopped doing my monthly reviews, mainly because I had just run out of energy doing them. It was becoming something of a chore to make sure I watched a film a week and I felt like I was doing it out of necessity rather than because I wanted to actually watch anything.
Saying that, I'm still watching films when I can – but nowhere near as many as I used to.
I didn't get to see many films at the cinema this year, so it's hard to do a top ten. I'm ashamed to admit it, but most of the stuff I saw on the big screen were Marvel films (erk!). I saw Avengers: Endgame and Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker twice. So much for being a film buff!
TV
My TV watching has been sporadic and disconnected as usual. Wifey and I are still churning through Homeland and have given up on The Handmaid's Tale (too depressing). We managed to power through 'Killing Eve', which just goes to show that if a series has a definite end point it's something we're more inclined to stick with. This series was made great largely thanks to the terrific two leads. The same goes for Kimmy Schmidt, which we finished watching this year. I think the shine wore off towards the end, so it was good to stop before things deteriorated too much.
I did get to see series one of The Boys on Amazon, which was an excellent – if extreme – take on the tired superhero genre. Stranger Things series three on Netflix was, I felt, okay-ish. I think they should have just stopped after doing two but I can understand why they carried on. The storyline veered towards the ridiculous and I'm worried things will get even more absurd for the next one. We're still working through Friends, reliving our 90s/00s past – although rumour has it Netflix won't be showing it for much longer.
Other honourable mentions: The Good Place, Final Space, Good Omens, Atypical.
Books
I spent most of the year reading the first four books of the Earthsea saga by Ursula K Le Guin. An impressive equal to Lord of the Rings or the Narnia series, the world-building is impressively subtle and believable while the characters are grounded and enigmatic. As I say every year, I want to read more books but just don't have the time or inclination as it's a lot easier to watch TV or YouTube. Maybe when the world eventually falls apart and there's no electricity I'll get to read more – heh!
Work
Work has been more pronounced in terms of feast and famine than it's ever been, I think, which is kinda weird. For the first quarter of the year I was inundated with work, and even surpassed my overdraft substantially (which has never happened before) thanks to the income brought in. This heady moment was, of course, brief as I then plunged back into my borrowing again to keep things afloat. Summertime was typically quiet and then it picked up a little until I headed into December which was surprisingly busy. Despite all of this, I am back into my overdraft again – but with our new fostering situation helping to ease things on the finances, this new year might see things go differently.
In terms of work travel I was in North Wales in February to do a few days filming and then later in the summer I went to the Lake District to film a wedding which was a bit random. Finally, in November I did my first filming gig in London for a conference, which was tiring but interesting.
Health
I have managed to stay relatively healthy this year, although my exercise regime has fizzled out to nothing. I'd started going for early morning walks, which was kid of refreshing, but I didn't feel like it made a huge difference. I've also become less intentional in terms of eating healthy food. It seems like there's always some big occasion just around the corner so it's hard to say no to treats and suchlike. I'm not convinced restricting my food intake has made a huge difference to my waistline so I'm less inclined to go without (eating nice food is about one of the last pleasures I have left!) – but saying that, I know that I need to reduce my weight a bit just so I'm investing in my future self when I'm a lot older and more prone to illness.
World Events
Well, 2019 has been a right bathtub of offal, that's for sure. We have the ongoing crap coming from America and its deranged leader, despite a supreme effort by many to put the brakes on Brexit it's finally gonna happen next month – and still nothing is being done by those in power to avert the climate catastrophe that is steadily unfolding before our very eyes (the nation of Australia is literally burning as I write this, people!).
After the General Election in December, I decided to shut myself off from the news and any political discussion for a while because I'd had a gutful. I can't understand why the majority (albeit a slim one) seem to think it's OK that 1 in 5 people are living in poverty in this country, or why it's OK to plunge headfirst into an economically suicidal withdrawal from Europe. All I can hope for is that once people see the crap that's happening as a result that they finally come to their senses and act accordingly.
This year I have been more and more convinced of the need to break up the Union and have been a firm supporter of Welsh independence. Whilst it's something that will be a long way off, I think it's something that may well be possible within the next decade or so. Here's hoping.
Other stuff
I have continued to be part of our church Life Group that is learning British Sign Language, which has been an enjoyable experience. The only challenge is that I don't get to use it much outside of our weekly meetings. I try and sign on Sundays but I'm not confident enough to stand up the front and I usually have other duties to worry about, such as looking after a fidgety toddler. I have been exposed to BSL thanks to the occasional bit of filming work, though, so it's useful for that. Hopefully I will get to use it more, but we'll see.
I may put off my BSL learning for a while, though, because I am thinking about learning Welsh. It's something that I've been wanting to do for ages, especially since becoming more nationalist in my outlook. I'm under no illusions that it's going to be difficult, though, although I think there will be more opportunities to practice it than BSL. Plus, it could prove useful for my occupation if Wales as I could end up getting more work.
In 2018 I made a decision to do something bold and ambitious - to write and direct a full-length feature film. This was borne out of my frustrations with trying (and failing) to get short films made. While it may seem a bit daft to make a feature if I've not had much luck making shorts, I feel like taking on a big project has more chance of attracting attention (and funding). I may be wrong. I think I may make a 30-minute film first, just as a bit of a stepping stone to making something that's much longer. It's a big endeavour, and I'm fully aware of that. But, I'm getting to the age where I haven't got the time to do things in small steps. I've got to go for it, really, and that's what I hope to do over the next couple of years.
If there's anything positive about 2019, it's that Basic Income has finally become mainstream, and I guess I've played a teeny tiny part in that. I set up a Basic Income Twitter account for Cardiff back in May 2018, and have been trying to keep it going ever since. It hasn't exploded with growth, but has a reasonable following and I get the odd engagement. What's been really exciting though is US Democratic candidate Andrew Yang basing his entire campaign around Basic Income (what he calls a Freedom Dividend) – the first time anyone has used UBI as part of a presidential bid. He's up against it, in terms of getting elected, but I'm convinced that if anyone can beat Donald Trump, it's Yang. You can find out more here: https://www.yang2020.com
As well as the Twitter account, I've been planning to organise a small event in Cardiff to raise the profile of UBI. It was something I'd hoped to do in 2019 but never got round to it (mainly because of all the preparations for fostering). Hopefully I can this year. How it's going to pan out, I have no idea but I just want to try and keep getting the idea out there as much as possible. I figure the more people hear about it, the more likely it will eventually filter through to the politicians who will eventually take it up.
I have to admit, I really think UBI is the only thing that will make any kind of difference to all the crap in this world. It's something that will empower people to sort politics out, fix the environment and end poverty for good. That and lots of prayer, of course.
Happy New Year.
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