A review of the year 2023

Well, that kinda sucked.

2023 has not been the best year, and I'm glad it's over.

When I looked back on 2022, it felt like a very ‘full’ year. It seemed like I’d done lots of travelling (Africa, France, Switzerland, Scotland) and work kept me constantly busy. We also had a toddler foster child running around who was a bit of a handful. Even so, I think if I was to rate it compared to other years I would say it was a ‘good’ year overall – mostly because it was pretty varied and I felt like things had progressed well in different areas. Work seemed to be moving forward in a positive direction and my personal development was progressing slowly but surely – not just in work but with things like my Welsh studies, learning electric guitar and preaching in church.

2023, however, has been a very different kettle of fish and something of a disappointment overall.

It started well, I guess. We had a skiing trip to France in February which was great fun and we had a long wait before we took on a new foster child so I was able to focus on things like Welsh and guitar. What didn’t start well was work – the first three months of 2023 saw very few jobs coming in, which was a surprise because the previous year had been something of a bumper time for me. It was as if someone had turned off the tap at the end of December and then very slowly began turning it back on again over the following months. This wasn’t helped by a particularly quiet summer. Saying that, if work had been busier I don’t know how I’d have coped with the sleep deprivation. But it’s not just the lack of work that’s made me think again about my career – I’ve become quite jaded by the work that I’ve been doing. Most assignments are very samey and there’s been very little scope for creativity or autonomy.

I’ve been self-employed for the last fifteen years but only this year did I feel like I’d had enough and longed to be in the security and regularity of salaried employment. So I’ve started applying for jobs just to push some doors and see what’s out there. I’ve even had a couple of interviews but no avail – I suspect that my age and demographic are against me. Middle aged straight white Christian males are the bad guys these days so I’ve not got much hope. I will, however, keep trying in 2024 as well as reshape the business in the hope that I can turn things around.

Another difficult thing for 2023 has been the arrival of our latest foster child. Coming to us at just a few month old, it was a huge challenge from the start – mainly because the child had very poor sleep patterns and so our own sleep suffered. I spent a few months in the spare room so wifey could handle the lion’s share of night time settling. It was a long slog but by the time the child was about one, sleep had much improved thankfully. Even so, almost no two nights are the same. Sometimes they will wake in the middle of the night, other times they won't. Sometimes they will wake at 5.30am, other times it will be 7am.

Several months into the fostering, I’d decided that I couldn’t keep doing it anymore and it was then that I had to break the news to wifey. She took it well, all things considered, but given that she’d given up everything to take on this new career it was a bit of a blow. The good thing was that she had been finding things equally difficult (although not to the same extreme as me) and beginning to think about other things she could do. Thankfully we were able to work things through and agree on a way forward. We decided to continue with the placement (it would be unfair to the child to do otherwise anyway) until it was time for them to move on. In the meantime, wifey would explore options for a new career plan. She now has ambitions to be a social worker and I couldn't be more proud as I think she will do an excellent job.

Me trying to look cool in my skiing gear

Of course, some good stuff did happen in 2023. We had our new pastor and family join our church back in April, who are amazing. There have been some adjustments (there always are with this kind of things) but it's been good stuff and I'm looking forward to getting to know them better over the coming year and seeing how the church will grow and develop. I passed my Grade 2 Guitar Exam, which – given sleep deprivation at the time – was a small miracle. We had the honour of going to Scotland for my brother's wedding, which was exhausting but good fun. Then there was my other brother's civil partnership celebration in London, which again was tiring (and hot! it was the warmest day of the year!) but went well. Also, not to forget the aforementioned skiing trip to France where I actually cracked how to ski. I was able to shoot down the slopes with ease by the end of the week and officially caught the skiing bug (so I'm desperate to go again in '24).

It's hard to think back on the past twelve months with much enthusiasm. I'm just relieved it's over and looking forward to positive changes in 2024 – the foster placement should end soon and then I can focus on my work, faith and creativity (hopefully!).

Happy New Year!