Saturday, January 14, 2012

I'm an El Gordo Spanish Lottery Winner!

Wow – I just received a letter in the mail. It's addressed to me and is from Portugal. Weird, I don't know anyone who lives there.

Let's open it and see...

Letterhead says El Gordo Spanish Sweepstake. Hmm.

"Final Award Notification.

We are pleased to inform you the released Results of the EL GORDO SPANISH SWEEPSTAKE LOTTERY/INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION PROGRAM held on the 22nd December, 2011. Your name attached to the Ticket number 510-2101-039 with serial number 6155-08 drew the lucky numbers 53-404 which consequently won the lottery in the 2nd Category.

You have therefore been approved for lump Sum pay out of 1.250.000€ (ONE MILLION TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND EUROS ONLY) in cash ..."

Woah – I've won a lottery I didn't even enter! That's a-mazing. Fantastic! I'll never have to work again. Woohoo!!!!

Wait a minute, I'd better just check this isn't a scam.

Y'know. Just in case.

Opening up Google....

I'm sure this is real. The way they've designed the logo and watermark is really convincing. There are a few spelling and grammatic errors, but for goodness sake it's from Spain. I mean, I couldn't write a letter like this in Spanish.

C'mon Google. Show me I'm rich.

Right – just typing in El Gordo Sweepstake. Let's see what comes up....



So, I'm not rich. This is all a scam. Thousands of people have received the exact same letter.

All my hopes and dreams have been dashed forever. I suppose I'll have to go back to my soul-destroying job with no pension and lack of prospects. Perhaps I'll end up sad and alone in a damp bedsit in Slough, still wondering what might have happened if that whole stupid El Gordo Spanish Sweepstakes had been real.

And then I'll die of pneumonia and the police will find my decomposing body three months letter, my dry bony hands grasping that preposterous, badly-written and poorly-designed letter from El Gordo Spanish Sweepstakes.

No comments:

Post a Comment